Wednesday, June 3, 2015

{The Singleness Adventure} Introduction

It may take him two-dozen years, but eventually, God will get your attention one way or another. :) The past few weeks have taken me completely by surprise, as the Lord has revealed some amazing things to me. I'm going to try to put it into words - I'm a writer, after all, it's what we do. (Or try to do!)

Picture this: I'm sitting in our living room, which is alive with the presence of some good friends of ours. We've just had a Bible study taught by my dad, and now we're taking prayer requests and praying for them. And then I get this thought - I need to ask for prayer for my Future Husband. Ooh. Things just got real. I'm a really outgoing, bubbly person, but in certain areas I prefer to keep things to myself. I actually got trembly as I waited for my turn to talk.

So then the moment comes, and when I speak, it's a croaky whisper.
Oh dear. The trembling hasn't stopped, either. The good people around me could sense my emotions just under the surface. And here I'm thinking Where in the world is this coming from? One minute I was just fine and the next I'm all teary-eyed.

God was softening my heart.

Some of the ladies started asking me questions and it took an unexpected turn - suddenly we were talking about me. Not my future husband. ME. My plans. (Nebulous and vague at best) My goals. (Umm, what goals?) My ambitions. (Ha. Nonexistent.)

Something became painfully clear. Something I didn't want to look straight at and see, but when the spotlight shone on it, there was no avoiding it. I have nothing that I'm working towards.

So the men adjourned to the porch, where they prayed over another topic that had come up, and the ladies and I stayed in the living room and formed a tight little circle and prayed... for me. And something finally cracked through my walls and set my heart aglow. Or rather, someone.

As we prayed, and after we prayed, all these wonderful, astonishing, why-didn't-I-think-of-this-sooner ideas exploded around me. The women had some great suggestions - and I believe they were hearing from God and sharing it with me. Things were dropping straight into my mind as well. It's hard to describe exactly what it was like, but the closest thing I can compare it to is a dried-out little sponge getting sprinkled, splashed, and then doused with water until it swells full to bursting, fresh again and dripping.

Then, the opportunity opened up for me to visit McKenzie for a week! It was exactly what I needed. A chance to get away from it all for a little bit, clear my head, climb mountains, breathe the fresh woodsy air, swim in their pool, laugh - and learn. I was opened up so God could pour new inspiration and encouragement into my spirit.

Want to hear from God? Go stand on a mountain and listen. :)

Oh. And while I'm sitting at McKenzie's kitchen table, she just happens to mention this book - Preparing to be a Helpmeet - which I, on a whim, began to read that night. HOLY COW. Mind. blown.

I've heard this stuff for years, darlings. All my life. "You need to be a woman of God if you expect to marry a man of Godly character", yada-yada-yada-blah-blah-blah..... but this time it was like...
It wasn't so much the words, it was that they came at exactly the right moment. I was so full of zest to get started on applying everything I was learning anew, that the night I got home I grabbed a brand-new blank notebook that a sweet girlfriend had given me for my birthday and scribbled in it for upwards of two hours.

I'm on fire. I can hardly sit still. There's SO MUCH I want to do with my life now - my focus has changed entirely from what it used to be, which was along the lines of:

"Sigh, I, the princess, will try my best to be content and wait here, quietly, in my tall tower,
 until my prince arrives on his white horse, 
and I can finally decorate my own castle and have beautiful royal babies".

Now, I feel like I'm a secret agent and I've been handed a mission. To reach my objective, I've got to go out and get some things done! It's extremely important that I train myself accordingly - learn all I can learn, be all I can be. Time is short! This season is only a brief interlude of freedom, in which I can do these things without the added burden of a husband and family to care for.

I have to use it wisely.

Not only do I want to learn everything I should know, and do great and wonderful things and finish cool, amazing projects - I desire to cultivate a heart that is so sweet, so tender, so giving and so thankful, that it sparkles in a beautiful example of Christlikeness. Grow a character that is pure, righteous, and faithful - until I am the woman my man needs. 

Rome wasn't built in a day, folks. If I want to be all that, I'd better get a move on!

When that man comes along (white horse or not) I'm hoping he'll find a prize worth winning - a queen, who has benefited the lives of so many others within her circle of influence, highly skilled and fit for a king, to reign in splendor by his side - but is the picture of Christ, and the first to get her hands dirty and leap to someone's aid if she is needed.

I could go on, but I'll save the rest for another time - I think this is the first in a series of adventures in Singleness that need to be shared! :) Hope you enjoy following along!

Love & Hugs,


  1. Ohhh! A post from Julia--was so happy to see it in my news feed this morning! All the best to you!

    1. Hi Bethany! Awww! Glad you were happy to hear from me! :) I posted another one before this as well, with pictures from my trip to see McKenzie. :) All the best back! <3

    2. I missed that post! Thanks for the heads up--looks like a lot of awesome photos!

    3. You're welcome, Bethany! And thanks. :)

  2. Hi Julia! So happy to see this in my feed this morning as this topic has been on my heart as well. :)

    1. Hi Allison! Thanks for taking the time to comment - it always blesses me to hear from readers! I think singleness is a topic on many hearts these days. Looking forward to sharing more!

  3. How lovely! I know what you mean about not really having much ambition in your life. I think it happens to a lot of people... me too! Can't wait to hear what else you have to say about this. :)

    1. Hi Abby! TELL me about it - It's so easy to get stuck in a rut and become complacent and sluggish. I'm excited about the upcoming posts! ;)

  4. Hi Julia!
    I just came to your blog while looking online at singleness posts and I wanna say super fantastic thoughts!
    You're only 24 years old right now. It seemed old to me at the time too! I had to tell myself "Ashley, that is okay. You won't be single a minute longer than God has ordained in his perfect will." It took me a long time to accept that- like realize it like you realized things you talked about in your post. I slowly got out of my "shell" and preconceived ideas of what I wanted in marriage, love, a guy, etc. I remember thinking "Am I a woman of worth?" after a conference at my church. I realized that I believed a lot of things right, but emotionally, action-wise, and hobbies-wise I didn't have much to offer a guy. I was saying but not doing. Guys don't want someone who just believes things, they want someone who DOES it in real life. I just kind of expected some guy to fit my qualities list, like/agree to my beliefs, and called it "love". My pastor's wife talked with me for about 3 hours one day and I knew then and there I needed to grow. We studied James together for about a year and it helped me reach my next steps of singleness. I am 29 now, I was 23 then when I realized I need to offer something and just enjoy life and develop interests, skills, etc I liked. I sought out new friendships with people on purpose and got out more often. I tried new things and tried to find things that I, as a daughter of the King liked and could adopt as part of my life instead of just "believing" or hoping something would happen to me. I needed to be intentional and actively seeking out new things instead of passively saying I believed in "purity and waiting for true love" and letting life happen to me. I didn't have the money (hahaha) to go to college but instead I pursued a certificate in cake decorating and eventually got a life coach certification so I help my clients figure out their lives and reach their God-given potential. I got a couple jobs and invested time in people. It stretched me out so thin at times but I grew SO much. I learned how relating to people worked which wasn't something I considered when I was waiting around, spending time with good friends in my comfy little "shell" & hoping for a nice guy to show up at church & ask my dad to get to know me. I made some money and travelled out West one Summer (I live in Ohio and hadn't been away from home longer than 2 weeks on my own so it was a big deal) The world really opened up for me when I looked past the limits I was placing on myself. I am SO thankful I did everything I could and stopped limiting myself to familiar things because if I hadn't done that the guy I am now dating very seriously wouldn't have been interested in me, and yes, he's a guy who lives nearby all along and never noticed me before. He wasn't my original ideal or some dashing guy from far away but a down to earth guy who loves Jesus and has a passion for sports management and cake decorating. Do I like sports and was it on my "list of qualities"? Naaah, but I like my boyfriend and I have learned to appreciate his interests because I love him. As I grew up as a person, my desires and ideals changed too. And I'm okay with that because I think it's better this way. I think back and see that I wouldn't have had anything to offer him in regards to ME as a well developed, well rounded, JOYFUL person worth knowing and able to encourage/support a guy in day to day life and emotionally. I am so glad that you are sharing your story here as it was a great encouragement to me and others and I hope you will pursue many avenues in which to glory in our Savior. I want to encourage you to keep setting goals, trying new things and following Jesus! Oh and this woman's blog is a real encouragement too:
    Cheering you on!
    Sorry this is SO LONG. But I just had to share!!
    Ashley Rose

    1. Dear Ashley,

      Don't apologize for the length of your extremely encouraging comment - I was blown away to see it in my inbox, and very honored! I know how much time it takes to comment and I highly appreciate yours, being of such size! ;)

      THANK YOU for sharing your story, it resonates so perfectly with what I'm learning and the season I'm in. "Letting life happen to me" was exactly what I was doing, but not anymore!

      Ooh, this part: "I am SO thankful I did everything I could and stopped limiting myself to familiar things because if I hadn't done that the guy I am now dating very seriously wouldn't have been interested in me, and yes, he's a guy who lives nearby all along and never noticed me before." ........... chills. I have chills. I fear for so many girls (Myself included!!) who might have missed out on God's best due to not taking initiative in preparing their own hearts, skills, and "well-rounded" individuality.

      Now I have a million more thoughts I need to share!! Future blog posts ahead! :)
      Again, thanks so, so much for taking the time to write to me!
      Love & Hugs,


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~ Julia ~